Done Again (Mostly)

My second year at the auspicious University of Michigan is coming to an end yet again. As last year, it has left me feeling horribly violated. I don't know if I can stomach any more failure. Also, I'm not sure that they'll even welcome me back, except that I keep paying my tuition. I don't know why I'm so terrible at everything; I study, I do homework, I go to class, yet something seems to be missing when I go to take exams. It's painful.

I am not really one to believe in miracles, and unfortunately I think it will take one for me to pass calculus. Maybe also physics. Probably also physics. Well, I've applied to a community college close to my home, so I'll take what I need to and pray the U lets me come back in the fall. I'll graduate eventually.

It's been quite a while since I've related any of my humorous situations to you so how about a new one? I don't think this one has a really good punchline like "OMG, there's a drunk, faux Irish girl in my bed!" (I didn't actually say OMG(I never say OMG except for comedic effect(seriously))), but it had some good points. Anyway, here goes:

So I went to Thor-Steve's and Jeremey's apartment (The Santure-King Experience!!!) for some good times on Saturday night, 'round about 8pm. First I was introduced to their new centerpiece: a hookah shaped like a fucking tank. Seriously. It's a tank, with the bowl coming up out of the turret, and camouflage patterns made with the gilding. It is probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. After a few hits we decided to duct tape a lighter on the side of the barrel. We smoked blueberry hashish and drank 40s out of brown paper bags. I should describe that briefly: Jeremey got a bunch of 40 ounces and we decided to drink them out of paper bags as a kind of drinking game; no one was able to tell how much each other had had to drink. I think Thor won, but that's not the point.

H-Dawg and Rober(t) showed up some time after 9pm, and we proceeded to develop smoking "moves." I failed to develop one, of course, but we had some interesting ones. We played Rock Band for a little while, and then Rober(t) and I played Resistance: Fall of Man. Alaina O showed up time before this and then Desiree brought more beer. Exactly what a bunch of drunk people needed. We played more Rock Band. And them some more. H-Dawg and Thor disappeared upstairs for a while, which was fairly suspicious. Now, H-Dawg is fairly religious and has a steady boyfriend, so I'm pretty sure nothing happened, but you can never be sure. She did send a bunch of funny emails and text messages to people though, one of which I did see on Rober(t)'s phone (If you didn't get it yet, the (t) is silent). Eventually, I got a ride back to my dorm from Dez, and spent the next day trying to study.

Well, until next time. Maybe I'll have some complaints for you in the near future.