Done Again (Mostly)

My second year at the auspicious University of Michigan is coming to an end yet again. As last year, it has left me feeling horribly violated. I don't know if I can stomach any more failure. Also, I'm not sure that they'll even welcome me back, except that I keep paying my tuition. I don't know why I'm so terrible at everything; I study, I do homework, I go to class, yet something seems to be missing when I go to take exams. It's painful.

I am not really one to believe in miracles, and unfortunately I think it will take one for me to pass calculus. Maybe also physics. Probably also physics. Well, I've applied to a community college close to my home, so I'll take what I need to and pray the U lets me come back in the fall. I'll graduate eventually.

It's been quite a while since I've related any of my humorous situations to you so how about a new one? I don't think this one has a really good punchline like "OMG, there's a drunk, faux Irish girl in my bed!" (I didn't actually say OMG(I never say OMG except for comedic effect(seriously))), but it had some good points. Anyway, here goes:

So I went to Thor-Steve's and Jeremey's apartment (The Santure-King Experience!!!) for some good times on Saturday night, 'round about 8pm. First I was introduced to their new centerpiece: a hookah shaped like a fucking tank. Seriously. It's a tank, with the bowl coming up out of the turret, and camouflage patterns made with the gilding. It is probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen. After a few hits we decided to duct tape a lighter on the side of the barrel. We smoked blueberry hashish and drank 40s out of brown paper bags. I should describe that briefly: Jeremey got a bunch of 40 ounces and we decided to drink them out of paper bags as a kind of drinking game; no one was able to tell how much each other had had to drink. I think Thor won, but that's not the point.

H-Dawg and Rober(t) showed up some time after 9pm, and we proceeded to develop smoking "moves." I failed to develop one, of course, but we had some interesting ones. We played Rock Band for a little while, and then Rober(t) and I played Resistance: Fall of Man. Alaina O showed up time before this and then Desiree brought more beer. Exactly what a bunch of drunk people needed. We played more Rock Band. And them some more. H-Dawg and Thor disappeared upstairs for a while, which was fairly suspicious. Now, H-Dawg is fairly religious and has a steady boyfriend, so I'm pretty sure nothing happened, but you can never be sure. She did send a bunch of funny emails and text messages to people though, one of which I did see on Rober(t)'s phone (If you didn't get it yet, the (t) is silent). Eventually, I got a ride back to my dorm from Dez, and spent the next day trying to study.

Well, until next time. Maybe I'll have some complaints for you in the near future.

Update

I was clicking through my bookmarks this evening, avoiding my calculus and physics homework without exactly ignoring it, when I came a across this link. First I thought, "Hey, no one updates this page." Then I realized that it's mine. I have been rather delinquent with it, I confess. Actually, I guess that I've been delinquent with a lot of my tasks lately. Despite my deceleration of intent regarding this semester, things have not been going well. For some reason I still have trouble with calculus and now I have trouble with physics too. It seems that I can only do well in one subject at a time. Currently that subject is programming which doesn't make me altogether happy.

I will admit right away that I am not the most studious student. I hate studying and I can always think of better or more interesting things to do. It's not from lack of motivation; I don't want to work a dead end job for the rest of my life, and even if I did those jobs are quickly disappearing. Even my normal mantras and self motivators don't really seem to help. Or rather, they don't help for very long. My short attention span doesn't help either. Already my thoughts are drifting away from this page and I've only been writing for a few minutes. Sure there are things that can keep my attention for quite a while: good books, games, television, good conversation, and the like, but I still drift easily. During class I look out the windows (when there are windows) and just think about being outside.

Perhaps my best motivation to date has come from a conversation with my father. He was asking me to start trying to locate funds for the next school year. I never really gave thought to how I would pay for college, I guess I just assumed that everything would take care of itself, and largely it has, but the ever present demon Murphy sees fit to rear his ugly head from time to time, usually in the form of medical bills of one kind or another. My sister's medications are ridiculously expensive and she's on so many of them... plus my mother's deteriorating joints, my introduction to the hardships of parkour, and the unrelated costs of sending my little brother to private school. My father indicated that while funds have been set aside for my education over the years, these unforeseen expenses have had somewhat of an impact on the availability of those funds.

It would seem that my new motivation not to fail would be that the cost of my education will soon be coming from my own pocket.