A Return to the Old Writing Block

A great project has been set into motion this year, one that will result in either catastrophic failure or overwhelming success. This project is so important that God Himself has given it His Blessing, as it portrays His Avatar upon the mortal plane. Failure in such an endeavor can only result in Eternal Damnation in the furthest Pits of Hell, with lots of Brimstone, Hellfire, and Capitalized Nouns. In short, this is the most important project of all Time. It is called simply Indiana Jones 4.

Jesus, of course, looks exactly like Indiana Jones, or vice versa. Except Jesus is generally shinier and more awesome, difficult as that may be to imagine. This is a generally accepted fact, go ask the Pope if you don't believe me. Actually, part of Jesus' message was that fedoras are the most awesome hats in the world, greater even than driving hats, and that one should fear and hate snakes beyond all reason because they are the most evil creatures in existence next to Nazis. It is a little known fact that when Jesus and the Disciples posed for the painting of the Last Supper that they were all wearing fedoras, pistols, and bullwhips, but that the artist was forced to paint over them by the Illuminati, a well known anti-Christian movement within the Catholic Church, which makes little to no sense.

But I digress.

There are several things wrong with this new film chronicling the adventures of the Son of God. Two of them are unavoidable facts: Marcus Brody is dead, and Sean Connery doesn't act anymore. Except when he makes appearances on SNL, which doesn't really count as acting anyway. The other thing is the inclusion of an actor in the cast who I am loathe to even mention. You might know him as the worst part of TRANS-FORMERS. That's right, Shia LeBoeuf, or however his stupid French name is spelled.

From what I can tell of the plot based on the little bits on IMDb including cast members and search words seems to imply that Indy has a son - probably LeBoef - and that Marion Ravenwood is back. Cast pictures include an older Harrison Ford in his Indiana Jones garb, Karen Allen looking like something more of an archaeologist than a barkeep, and LeBoeuf dressed in jeans and black leathers, which implies to me that he's a biker jerk ala John Travolta in Grease. Hopefully Indy will beat the shit out of him at some point by way of discipline.

Anyway, I must now go spend my football free afternoon doing something. Possibly perusing books or the like, maybe spending some time with Miss K if I can get ahold of her.

EDIT: Originally I had said that Indiana Jones looked like God, and then I remembered that it's Dirty Harry who looks like God, and that Indiana Jones looks like Jesus. My mistake.